Friday, October 10, 2008

vacation's all I ever wanted

Am off for a week today, which is really nice. We are off to Brooklyn for the weekend, and I think I may be getting how to do this thang, this visiting thang. First off, my goal is to get Lily extended periods of facetime with her friends, one a day, if possible. Two maybe, but no more. I made that mistake already.

Then, I schedule myself around having to move her around. I have made contact with several friends and now have a lunch date set up and an evening date. Then, instead of being overly scheduled, seeing a friend every two minutes, I'm bringing books and journals and stuff like that and I intend to sit in the Tea Lounge or the park and do some work. Sunday we are seeing more friends, I think, while Lily plays with her friend, then going to a housewarming, then heading out to Long Island. Back Monday afternoon.

The idea is, no expectations (or few). Also, this is a new city. I am going with my friend Alyssa to the upper east side on Saturday night. I can't remember the last time I was up there, for any reason. But Alyssa invited me, so why not, right? One of the cool things about New York, of course, is that no matter how much I think I know it, I barely know it. It's so massive and it's always changing.

My friend Karen said it would take two years, and you know, that Karen, she's smart, it's two years at Thanksgiving. Thursday night I had coffee with a friend I met through the Wellesley alum office. She's slightly older, her kids are grown, and when we first met she was mostly listening to me as I tried to process this whole move thing. But then we got busy and this is the first time I've seen her in, oh, a year. And I realized as I talked to her that I was no longer talking about the move, I was talking about what was going on with Lily and Dave got a job and work is really good, intense but good.

My point is, I live here now. I live here now. I've lived here almost two years, and it's becoming my city, my 'hood, and we have some friends and we are making a place for ourselves. Friends are thinking of visiting next weekend and I had to say we are really busy all day Saturday and we have dinner plans, for which I picked up the phone and got a sitter in five minutes. I've been to the dentist more than once. I live here now.

There's something about moving. No matter where you go, there you are. Lately I've been thinking, jeesh, I can do anything I want to! I can move the whole fam-damily to Portugal if I want to. I can take a year off and ride my bike across the country to bring attention to the plight of the rain forest (well, maybe I can't do that) (or is it that I choose not to?).

And I've realized that actions have consequences. Not walking like I used to in Brooklyn is having a direct affect on my health and my, er, physique. (Maybe we do need a dog.) I have been going to physical therapy since early August because of an inflamed rotator cuff on my left shoulder. Too much poor form in my weight lifting. Living in a small town on the edge of the country has consequences I can't even articulate, good and bad. There's something to be said for having a wonderful studio-office-space that feels like it's in the trees, with windows all around, and my books, and my pretty things. There's something to be said for quiet. For fresh air. For wood floors and a gray cat nibbling at my feet.

I have fantasies of joining the masters swim team, once my shoulder heals, the one that practices at the junior high. And taking a regular yoga class. Lots of that around here. I miss Red Tide, my team in Manhattan before I had Lily. I miss Yogasana, my yoga place -- wait, do I miss these places? Or do I just need to find similar resources here? I had wonderful, wonderful body workers in New York, shiatsu and massage and acupuncture and kinesiology. Here I have found a great chiropractor, so different from all my New York people, but she makes me laugh -- the last time I saw her, just before she adjusted my neck, she said, "you're the best client ever!" and I cracked up -- and she really helps me think about things differently. She's introducing me to folks here who can help me too, massage, acupuncture, etc. I'm actually building resources, now, I'm not really searching for them as much any more. (And hey, it took a long time to find them in New York, too, to realize I even wanted them, even.)

Resources. The woods smell heavenly these days. I get out of the car and it just smells, I don't know, rich. Strong. Pungent. Sometimes I smell wood smoke. We've had a fire, and lit the pellet stoves a couple of times. Work is incredible, a true gift to be working with these fine people. Dave and Lily -- my heart's delight. Money, well, we have less of it, as the stock market crashes. But we're okay. Family and friends and bodies that work and access to really good food and Dave got a job and he's starting on the 27th, and we are visiting friends in Brooklyn tomorrow and all is well with the world.

PS -- I am sorry if this moving stuff is dull and repetitive. I guess it just takes a long, long time to process.

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